Monday, 13 July 2009

Paul Daniels and the lovely Debbie Mcghee

Oh time, what a great leveller you are. Eventually, we all die. Before that we all get ugly. Debbie Mcghee used to be reasonably attractive. twenty five years on, she looks like a Barbie who was owned by a small girl in a suburb of Chernobyl. Paul, in contrast, has always had an unfortunate face. He never felt the dizzying highs, so he doesn't suffer the crushing lows.

Plus, Paul Daniels can do magic and everyone knows girls love that shit. There is no more potent pulling suit than a dinner jacket, top hat, white gloves and wand. In fact, there's every possibility that Paul is sawing your girlfriend in half right now, if you know what I mean*. Debbie, on the other hand, used to stand around being lovely and now she can't even do that.

Oh, and Paul Daniels is excessively rich. I had one of his magic kits as a child, so I am personally responsible for adding a few pounds to his already well lined pockets.

Consequently, Debbie Mcghee, I pronounce that you are punching above your weight.

*I mean having sex.

1 comment:

  1. Your other examples are spot on but I must disagree with this one. Debbie and Paul are perfectly matched! Nobody is punching above their weight here. No matter how successful Paul Daniels is he still looks like a cross between bing crosby and a dead sundried foetus. This proves to be a huge disadvantage when it comes to dating. Yeah Debs is also a little facially bewildering but she in no way inhabits the same middle-earth dimension of Paul Daniels!

    They are equally matched in the fact that she has no possible point or role in society and that, like Paul Daniels, just the sound of her voice has the power to make a person involuntarily bring up a little bit of sick in their mouth.

    This couple along with the Hamiltons should stand as an example of two people perfectly matched in their hideousness.